dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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