I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
