I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
