Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
