I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
