i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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