At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
