Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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