Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
