Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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