My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
