i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
