i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
