respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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