i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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