a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize