apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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