yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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