i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
