one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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