maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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