My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
