I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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