On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
