Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
