I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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