Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
