OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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