Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
