Come see our sink grown plant.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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