The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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