didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
