Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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