I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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