We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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