belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
