your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Randomize
