Can i not drive my cunt home
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
