Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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