I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
