Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
