I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
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You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
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i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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