Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
