so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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