just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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