Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
