I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
