I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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