just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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