I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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