Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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