Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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