Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
