who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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