I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
