I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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