so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
