so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
There r osticjed everywhere
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
