i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
