I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
