Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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