Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
