every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
